A Personal Tao

1) A spiritual guide teaches a person to trust their own heart first and foremost in their life. Every person is the expert in how to be themselves. So Taoist teachers will give outside perspective to help smooth out the process but will never let the student they're guiding lose sight of the path within their own heart.

Here is a truth: Many people go to experts, to allow themselves to let go, to not be responsible for their own life...In effect to lose themselves. This is not acceptable in  Taoism which teaches each person to embrace their own heart fully. You release into the heart not let go of life.

2) The person you are helping will make mistakes! We do our best to avoid the biggest mistakes... To heal a person is often to let people make smaller mistakes. People often learn more from the mistakes than being right. We don't stop moving forward becuase of the risks, we move forward do the best in love and work towards better relationships as issues come up one at a time.

The trick is to make sure the mistakes are small ones :) which a person can heal from.

3) You can't save another person. See number (1). Don't think you are being a life guard here. Every person needs to work out problems on their own terms. Otherwise people can't truly transform. In other words you can guide a person but they still have to walk their own path.

When I guide people, I help them pass the rougher points but they do the work. I am not the one transforming, I am being aware and assisting instead. It's a very delicate process and you will be tempted to help more since you know what they are facing. However, everyone needs to make the process their own to truly transform.

For this reason I am very careful how I work with others, since timing is very critical. Only guide others when they are ready to also help themselves. Otherwise you will hurt a person more as they resist change rather than embrace it fully.

4) This process isn't static. A Taoist Master will not oversee everything in this process as everyone is unique. Instead we work with it a day at a time. In this manner, it's possible to precisely act as needed when events unfold. Don't fall into the trap of thinking guiding people will be predictable. Let the process happen naturally so it grows into a strong relationship with true  transformation rather than create a weaker future based only on expectations.

5) This is just a start, each person will have their own needs. Flow with each person to help them find their path to discovering the Tao.